Crawling In the Dark
by HFA
Summary: Jou is a slayer and Kaiba is one of the most powerful vampires. Kaiba also happen to kill Jou's sister. As revenge Jou killed Mokuba. Now Jou is after Kaiba. Which one will survive? Yaoi JouSeto
1. I Feel So

CS: Hey guys for some reason I'm writing another story..weird inspirations everywhere.eep!  
  
Jou: Who let her into the sugar again?  
  
Yugi: ME!!  
  
Yami: *sigh * Well anyway she doesn't own Yu-gi-oh or us. Consider that the disclaimer. Now you owe me.  
  
CS: I do not. You did it on your own.  
  
Yami: Oh yeah..  
  
Y. Bakura: Haha Pharaoh!  
  
CS: Shut up both of you now on with the fic.  
~Jou Pov~  
  
Panting running along the rooftops was one of my usual nightly activities. Though tonight I had some very interesting prey. Very interesting mind you. There was overcast that night, which I was sure, hid me quite well. I was clad in black and the dark of the night with the lack of moonlight didn't make me all too easy to see. I was getting closer, and closer still. There I could smell them. I couldn't help but grin. I always got my prey. This one impressed me. All night they had eluded me, actually for the past week they had. I had seen them but not at any time that I could have done anything about it. This one loved to tease and knew full well who and what I was.  
  
Even through the over cast you could see the moon glowing behind its dark gloomy cover. I stopped looking over the ledge of the roof at the street below. Ah ha there he was. Just as I though. I paused where I was to look at the creature. It was in black like I to try and hide I suppose.  
  
Ha that couldn't save you!  
  
I smiled at my thought then realization hit me. It had seen me and was looking at me. I growled and stood up loosing my view over the edge of the roof.  
  
Damn it I know he saw me. I need to be more careful. Not that it matters this will be over with soon.  
  
I was right or rather I hoped I was. I froze as I heard the familiar sound of steps behind me. I turned quickly to meet with a pair of cold cerulean eyes.  
  
Those eyes how I held such anger toward their owner. The damned man. Yes I would say now I had once known him rather well but that was a long time ago. This was not the time to daydream though. I glared back at those eyes fully aware of the fire my eyes now seemed to hold in my rage. I heard a quiet laugh, which only drove me further into my anger.  
  
"How dare you laugh!" I shouted  
  
"Oh please I am not afraid of a mutt like you." He said in a tone icy yet alluring. There was a laugh as well mixed in but it did not stick out.  
  
I growled realizing I had been caught by my prey and cursed under my breath. Then the fact I was so close to the edge of the roof did not work well either.  
  
"You really should be more careful you know. A nice little mess you put yourself in now." He said looked at me a slight twisted smile on his face.  
  
"I can watch out for myself but it's nice to know you care." I said with a laugh of my own.  
  
He laughed himself in good nature at my statement. I just wanted him to shut the hell up already. He knew it too, I knew he did. Then doing something I see as very stupid I lunged at him. It caught him off guard but he stayed up and looked at me a smile on his face. It growled wanting to wipe the smile off that face so badly.  
  
I pulled back going to the side past him so I was away from the ledge.  
  
One thing taken care of at least.  
  
I stood watching him glaring at him the whole while. He looked at me and smiled.  
  
"Get the forsaken smile off that face or yours." I spat at him.  
  
He laughed again. It rang through my ears memories threatening to come. It was his plan to do this to me. I shook my head charging him watching as he did nothing to stop me. He held his ground and looked down at me.  
  
"You seem so angry. Why is that?"  
  
It was a taunt. He was trying to toy with me but two could do that couldn't they.  
  
"I am amazed you're not upset at all..after all what I did to the little demon of yours." I grinned looking t him seeing his eyes narrow at me.  
  
"Shut your mouth! Never speak of Mokuba!!"  
  
I let out a bitter laugh grinning.  
  
I think not I will make you pay! After all you've done. I killed the boy yes but he was damned that's why.and that is why I will kill you.  
  
"You think you will ever kill me?!!" He said pushing me back angrily.  
  
I laughed not saying a word  
  
"Well?!"  
  
"Yes I think I can kill the beast known to the mortals as Seto Kaiba."  
  
He growled looking at me.  
  
"You are going to pay dearly for this dog."  
  
I smiled.  
  
Like hell I am.  
  
He was walking toward where he had shoved me. I watched him thinking he was the idiot I imagined him to be. He was falling right into my trap.  
  
Then before I could move I was pinned to the roof. I blinked and looked at him. He was on top of me. I couldn't even move. This looked like it would be it for me..  
  
Dammit! How could I let this happen? I had to make up for what he did to my sister! Look at what happen to me. I failed her again.  
  
I looked up at him thinking the many mixed thoughts of failure in my mind. My eyes widened as I saw him moving closer to me. Then I saw the fangs, which made me struggle beneath him. I heard him laugh in amusement as I tried vainly to free myself. He pushed the collar of my shirt away from my neck. I growled lowly thinking he was dragging it out. Enjoying his little game.  
  
"Consider this a welcoming pup.."  
  
A welcoming.?  
  
I let out a gasp and he sank his fangs into my neck. I felt my whole body grow numb for a moment then it began to regain its feeling slowly a warm comforting feeling spreading through me. Something I had not felt in a long time. I felt myself being straightened up to stand an arm around my waist to help me. I glanced at Kaiba who had pulled back licking the blood from his lips. I shivered not sure from what though.  
  
He looked at me thinking what I dare not ponder. My eyes felt heavy now and my body was losing its strength. I grabbed onto the tall figure, which now easily supported me. He kept his arm where it was watching me a slight smile on his face. I shuddered when I saw it wondering what would become of me now.  
CS: Ok I think I'll stop there post it up and see what happens.  
  
Yami: You can all yell at her if you want..haha  
  
Kaiba: Shut up Yami.  
  
Yami: You're just happy cuz you got to bite Jou.  
  
Jou: Yami.shut it.  
  
YamiL *blinks *  
  
CS: Sorry that was something that just popped in my head and I did so don't be too mad at me. 


	2. Still Waiting

CS: Whoa..11 reviews already? I guess I might as well write another chapter now. To let people know it's called Crawling In the Dark because I came up with it while I was listening to the song. Kinda freaky. I think the song fits pretty well to the story. Anyway thanks for the reviews everyone!! ^ ^ Well as a reward I am writing another chapter. Hopefully it will be decent.  
  
Jou: You let him bite me?!!! In the first chapter!!  
  
Seto: Like I said a weak mutt. Couldn't even get way from me in the first chapter.  
  
Yami CS: Shut it both of you!!  
  
Seto: I am not afraid of you.  
  
Yami CS: Really? *holds up a journal *  
  
Seto: I take that back..I am.  
  
Yami CS: Disclaimer now!  
  
Seto: *sigh * She don't own Yu-gi-oh or us characters from the show. There happy?  
  
Yami CS: Not totally but it'll do for now.  
  
Seto: Yeah whatever.  
~Jou Pov~  
  
I glared at him trying to regain my strength quickly. It was working enough for me to stay conscious. I thanked god for that. What would he do if I did black out? I shuddered at the thought. I looked up at him. He was watching me with interest and that damn grin of his just got wider.  
  
"Curse you.." I growled.  
  
He laughed lightly looking at me. He let go of me letting me drop to the ground. I glared up at him getting to my knees panting heavily. He watched me thinking eyes looking vaguely interested.  
  
"Looks like you have some fight left in you."  
  
"I am not going to roll over like that.." I said standing shakily. I looked at him standing I knew was denying him what he wanted. He wanted to see me weak unable to move. To have to beg. I'd die before I begged him. I was regaining my senses and strength quickly. He knew it and merely grinned.  
  
I watched him eyes narrowing as I now stood easily. Now I would make him pay for her dear sweet life. The innocent thing she was. She had done nothing. My anger gave me strength.  
  
"Know what I think taste much better than she did." He said suddenly licking his lips. They were free of blood already it was just to anger me. It did greatly but one the surface I remained as calm as I could.  
  
"Nice to know you have a preference." I hissed in annoyance. He watched me not laughing out loud but I knew he was inside enjoying this all greatly.  
  
I lowered my head for a moment closing my eyes. He watched me curious I didn't need to be looking at him to feel his eyes on me. I lifted my head and lunged before I even opened my eyes. I didn't need them open I knew where he was. I knew what I was doing. In a fluid motion I pulled the dagger, which I had hidden in the boots I wore, and hugged him as though lovingly. My mouth twisted into a sinister smile as I plunged the dagger into his back. He let out an angry hiss of pain as I pulled away bloodied dagger in my hand. He looked at me partly shocked.  
  
"Maybe you are a better trained dog than I thought."  
  
I looked at him coldly saying nothing. I still wore my grin. He growled seeing the pleasure I took out of this. He jumped back from me as I went to slash his chest. This vexed me as I turned to face him not wanting to leave my back open to an attack.  
  
The blood had made him tired and sluggish.. I was still bleeding from the neck.  
  
"We both bare a wound from the other now but mine cannot kill me can it?"  
  
He smiled and laughed letting it echo in the seemingly empty night.  
  
"I can heal you idiot!" He spat at me as if I didn't know.  
  
I laughed making him looked at me a bit shocked. "What is so funny?!"  
  
"You think I don't know that? Of course I do. The blood has dulled your senses and what mind you have."  
  
He growled showing a little of his now concern.  
  
Playing with his mind was growing rather fun.  
  
"Who would think you, the mutt, would be a hunter. Not a half bad one at that."  
  
"Stop before I blush." I said evenly a little amusement audible in my tone.  
  
"This game is boring me now.goodbye Kaiba." I said and running toward him but jumped him at the last minute. He was surprised and growled as he felt my dagger pierce his back once more. He let out a quiet yell of pain. How I loved the sound but it made my skin crawl as well.  
  
He turned grabbing my arm, the one which held the dagger grinning like the insane fool he was. I looked at him thinking feeling my heart pounding in my chest.  
  
Caught again. This is getting old.  
  
He twisted my arm making me wince taking the dagger from me.  
  
"Children shouldn't play with sharp things."  
  
He said tossing it aside. I froze in place as he eyed my neck once more. I growled no I would not let him bite me again. We both distanced ourselves from the other. We stood on different heights now. I was below him to my disliking. We both awaited the proper time to pounce.  
  
The moon came through the overcast for a moment and that's when we choose to attack. At the same moment we leapt up trying to take the other down.  
  
He pushed me back and I cursed mentally. He looked at me smiling at his victory. He then lifted me by the collar of my shirt lifting me a foot off the ground and still rising. He stopped when I was about a foot and a half from the ground. I laughed looking down at him. I blinked and winced as he brought a fist to my stomach. It hurt a great deal. He dropped me. I held my stomach trying to regain my breath.  
  
"I will have fun breaking you." He said before knocking me out. I let out a cry of pain before falling into the black peace on unconsciousness. I felt him lift me after carrying me walking along the roof easily moving on to the next.  
  
I had wounded him and he had wounded me. What was he going to do with me? He hadn't killed me why? He spared me but not my precious sister. Why save me?  
  
-Flashback-  
  
I smiled at the girl beside me. We walked along on the way home from school. It was raining lightly. I held the umbrella over our heads thinking watching the rain hit the ground.  
  
It was spring and even in the rain I heard the birds. We were visiting our grandparents since today was the last day before summer vacation. Our parents were at home getting ready or rather we thought they were.  
  
We kept walking seeming not to have a care in the world.  
  
"And today Ms. Tusaki made us all choose the books we would read of summer break. I really don't like reading much. What about you Jou-kun?"  
  
I looked at her and smiled then looked back ahead.  
  
"I never was one to enjoy reading."  
  
She nodded smiling "I know. Come on Jou lets go I can't wait to go visit grandmother. Remember how much fun we had last time we went?"  
  
I nodded smiling.  
  
"I remember Shizuka."  
  
We both hurried home. She ran ahead of me and I sighed scolding her but not angrily for going out into the rain. I knew it wasn't even really raining hard but I was a protective older brother.  
  
I stopped after taking my shoes off putting my slippers on. Shizuka had already done so. I ran into the house the umbrella left by my discarded shoes.  
  
I saw Shizuka standing in the doorway frozen. I walked up behind her and blinked to see our parents screaming at one another. My father glared at my mother. The few words I could make out that he was screaming were 'worthless, whore and slut' I took Shizuka back out to the porch.  
  
"Jou what's going on?"  
  
I shook my head unsure of what was going on. My mother soon ran out of the house. She looked at us and took Shizuka quickly away from me. She then proceeded to drag her toward her car muttering something about leaving.  
  
I looked at her stunned "M-Mother?!' I said running after them.  
  
Shizuka was put into the passenger seat as I tried to speak to her my mother put a hand on my chest pushing me back saying they were leaving.  
  
"L-Leaving?"  
  
Shizuka was looking at m tears running down her face. Something I hated to see. I watched as they drove away tears of my own falling mixing on the ground with the rain.  
  
"Mother.S-Shizuka." I said breathlessly. I looked back to see my father in the doorway looking at me. Little did I know my mother had left me here to live through hell for years to come.  
  
-End Flashback-  
  
CS: Well I think that went well  
  
Yami CS: Really I was the brains behind it all.  
  
Jou: No you weren't Seto, Shizuka and I were..wait I mean Kaiba!!  
  
Yami CS: Sure you do..  
  
CS: Haha..anyway review and let meh know what you think. 


	3. With You

CS: Thanks for the reviews again everyone.  
  
Yami CS: Welcome back for the third chapter. We are trying to do the best we can but..not everyone id well being as agreeable.  
  
Jou and Seto are seen in the background trying to slit one another's throats.  
  
CS: *grabs knives * No now stop fighting!  
  
Jou: Fine  
  
Seto: Whatever  
  
Yami CS: For a guy Seto-kun you say whatever a lot.  
  
Seto: *blinks *  
  
CS: By the way I think most of the story will be Jou's point of view.  
  
~Jou Pov~  
  
Even in my dreams I can't escape him. No not even now when I know I am at least a few miles from him. I feel like I am hiding in the shadows again from him as he stumbles through the darkness trying to find me.  
  
-Dream/Flashback-  
  
I am trembling hiding in the corner of my room. I hold my breath too afraid to let it out. Tears make their way down my face. I press myself further back into the wall wishing I were dead at that instant. Unfortunately nothing happens except he finds me and drags me out of my hiding place. I scream but no one hears me. If they do they don't care. My father just looks at me and laughs.  
  
"What is it? Afraid of your dear old father? You have nothing to be afraid of.."  
  
I shake my head thinking he had no clue how terrified I was. I dreaded this each day and each night. He looked at me annoyed in his drunken haze.  
  
"Well?" He spat at me wanting an answer.  
  
This was one of those questions no matter how I answered there would be a beating..just a beating if I was lucky.  
  
"Yes..yes sir." I said trying to stop my trembling along with making my voice steady. I sound so weak.  
  
He looked at me as if thinking. I looked at him my face tearstained and horror stricken. He growled.  
  
"What have I told you boy?"  
  
I turn my head away quickly.  
  
"Never look you in the face sir."  
  
"What else?"  
  
"Crying is for children and weaklings."  
  
My voice was barely above a whisper. He nodded and lifted my head up forcefully. I closed my eyes waiting for the darkness to come I prayed it would be soon. So I would not know as much pain.  
  
I held in a cry as he kicked my ribs. I heard a crack but I held in my cries the tears running down my face in streams.  
  
I beg of you god make him stop save me. What have I done?  
  
He continued the beating it was at least an hour before he took a break to roll me over.  
  
"Have you learned your lesson yet?"  
  
I stay curled up unable to speak or move.  
  
'Well?!"  
  
He asked anger flaring. I brace myself again as the beating begins again worse this time. It was another twenty minutes before I lost consciousness this time.  
This fades to black as I lost consciousness hearing faint sounds of clothes rustling. That made me shudder.  
  
I see a city next in the springtime. A happy place the sun coming down on a perfectly clear day. This was the kind of day no one could say indoors with. I walked along in the park smiling looking up at the green trees. I was supposed to meet Shizuka here. I stop as I hear a quiet cry. I froze for a moment when it hit me..  
  
That was Shizuka!!  
  
I ran toward the quiet sound to see something that shocked me. There Shizuka was in the arms of a creature. I was shaking with fear or anger I'm not sure. Shizuka looked at me her eyes showing few signs of life to them. He was greatly paled.  
  
"J..Jou.." She said quietly.  
  
There was a small laugh as the creature pulled away from the spot of my sister's neck where he had fed. Shizuka lay limp in his arms eyes dulled and dimmed.  
  
"Sh..shizuka." I said staring at her body numbly.  
  
The creature turned to me licking his lips clearing them of blood. I looked at him clenching a fist. I ran toward them with all that was in me. He smiled dropping my sister turning his attention toward me. He grabbed me tightly. I winced as this and glared at him tears running down my face showing no sign of stopping.  
  
"Why her?."  
  
I asked quietly. He just smiled at me. A horrible smile I can never forget. She lost her spirit, her soul, and her innocence to that man. That man I later came to know as Seto Kaiba.  
  
That as well faded to black as he looked at me coldly.  
  
I had once known Seto Kaiba. He had been a cold person but he was no inhumane then. It was painful partly to see him do that to my sister. I loved my sister so greatly I was a broken man at the age of fourteen. I am eighteen now. I put up a good act for my friends. I make myself seem like the happy-go-lucky type. I am not. I'm just a cold and forgotten as the day sweet Shizuka died.  
  
-End Dream/Flashback-  
  
I woke with a start and sat up in bed wherever I was. I looked around to see a larger room with high ceilings. The room was sparsely decorated. I looked at the bed to see silk sheets and a comforter. They were a tan gold color. The bed was rather large. I looked at the headboard to see a Red Eyes carved in wood to serve as a decorative heard board. I blinked once or twice. I was very well done. The walls were a deep yellow color. I got up and walked across the room curious partly. I opened one of a pair of large double doors. I walked out into a hall that seemed to stretch a mile both ways.  
  
I did not know this place. He must have taken me here. I put a hand to my neck to see it bandaged. My trench coat was no longer on me. I sighed deciding to walk east. I thought to myself and I looked at the doors I passed wondering where each one led.  
  
"I may not leave here alive.." I muttered as I stared ahead thinking. My pace was slow. I was not tired but I felt a bit weak.  
  
The bastard must have had a snack.  
  
I continued walking thinking. I looked around sure anyone could get lost here other than a servant or the master of the house. I shuddered thinking I might just be lost here for a week. I shook my head that was nonsense.  
  
I pushed myself on. I saw a stairs. I decided to take them. They went downward. I supposed I must have been upstairs. I shrugged figuring that was obvious. I should probably have just jumped out the window in my room.  
  
I stopped on the stairs as I felt a breeze behind me.  
  
"Looks like I've been found.." I said feeling a hand grab my shoulder roughly turning me. 


	4. Nothing On My Back

CS: Whoa 25 reviews.for me that is a lot. Proves my uh..skills.  
  
Yami: Not bad but really all this is about Seto and Jou. Where is me? You need me in this along with my hikari.  
  
Yami CS: Shut it Yami.  
  
Yugi: Be nice to my Yami.  
  
CS: Fine..hmm I might be nice and write about you guys too or make you both your own ficcy. How does that sound? *Is dragged off by Yami *  
  
Yami: *whispers *  
  
CS: *blinks * Ohh.hmm. I'll think about it.  
  
Yugi: Think about what?!!  
  
Yami CS: How can anyone be that dense?  
  
Seto: Do you really want to know?  
  
Yami CS: No. Anyway thanks for the reviews and on with the fic!  
~Jou Pov~  
  
I turned to see a very flustered maid who muttered something about having scared her half to death with all the noise I made. She grumbled a few moments longer before telling me that master Kaiba was in his study. I looked at her as though saying yeah that helps. She pointed in the correct direction and gave me instruction on which way to go.  
  
After I finished speaking with her I went the rest of the way down the stairs following the directions I was given. They helped me very little. I ended up wandering for ten minutes before finding the correct door. I opened one of the large cherry wood doors. They were carved in I believe some Celtic pattern. With sterling silver adornments, which were aged and a bit darkened. Though most things aged are. The doors were thick and fairly heavy. I saw though there were modern lights the only light in the room came from a massive fireplace that was surrounded by armchairs. Most comfortable looking things they were. The floor was hardwood panels of pines mixing covered in a protective coat of polyurethane. Here and there were rugs, mostly of Asian designs. Though the walls were large bookshelves filled with books of all sizes and colors. Books of all subjects could be found there. It was rather impressive.  
  
I strode toward the armchairs thinking to myself.  
  
Now why hasn't he killed me? He had the chance as foolish as I was to allow that to happen.  
  
I shook my thoughts away and stopped next to the blue armchair. There I looked down at Kaiba who appeared to be well asleep. I smirked inwardly and saw a book open in his lap. I reached down and closed it moving his hand from where it was on the page then went to take the book. Soon as it was out of his hands one hand reached out snatching my wrist suddenly. I looked from the book to him.  
  
"That interesting is it?" I asked grinning.  
  
He sighed and let go of me.  
  
"I see you did wake up after all. Good. Take a seat." He gestured to one of the other armchairs a red one the one that happened to be closest to his. I nodded and set the book on a small table beside his chair before sitting on the one he motioned to.  
  
"I have a few question Kai.."  
  
"Now you haven't called me just Kaiba since I first met you."  
  
I growled slightly looking at him my annoyance obvious. He sighed and looked at me leaning back on his chair.  
  
"Fine as you wish. Now Seto why have you spared me?"  
  
He nodded "A good question indeed. I wanted to offer you something. Something few people get Jou. I want to offer you what I have. I want you to become what I am. To be like I am. Immortal and without weakness."  
  
I could only look at him in a mixture of shock and disgust. To become the one thing that took my dearest Shizuka away was unthinkable.  
  
I stood and shook my head.  
  
"Never..I would never want to be what you are. What took someone so dear from me. Not to mention you as well Seto."  
  
I could see him wince at this. The guilt was tugging at him. He felt responsible for Mokuba and I could understand why. He felt responsible for Mokuba like I felt responsible for Shizuka. We weren't all that different. We just went different ways in our lives. I sighed looking to the fire. I heard him speak up again though my eyes stayed on the fire.  
  
"Jou you are the only person that I can say I remotely care for any longer. We have been separated by hate and anger. When one of us is gone the other will have nothing left."  
  
He was right. Once I killed him I would have no purpose left. The only reason I signed into the brotherhood was to kill him. For what he had done. Could I still do it? He had saved me in all my misery but saved me all the same. If I got rid of him I would truly be alone. More alone than I was now. I sighed and leaned back in the chair, which was indeed comfortable. I could feel his eyes on me.  
  
"Think on it Jou. Neither of us wants to be alone."  
  
I merely nodded to him in response. I promised the brother hood I was going to take him down. I found myself now lacking the strength and will now. Damn him. Damn it all to hell as I soon will be.  
  
I felt my eyes close and my body began to slump in the chair. I was still tired. Before the last part of my conscious left me I felt myself being lifted gently then being carried. I let myself fall into a deep sleep or what I prayed would be a deep sleep. I also prayed and begged the dreams not find me again.  
~Dream/Flashback~  
  
"Seto!! Seto-kun!!" I said happily as I saw the brunette standing beside the black haired brother of his.  
  
He turned and smiled at me. Shizuka and Mokuba both running toward the playground together, while I walked calmly to Seto.  
  
"Nice to see you again Seto."  
  
He smiled "Always good to see you again Jou. You and Shizuka."  
  
I blushed a bit but nodded smiling.  
  
I hated to admit it then and I hate to admit it now he grows on you. He worms his way into you if you let him. He has a good cold cover though. No one really knows what he is actually like. Mokuba, Shizuka, and I were some of the few that did.  
  
He looked at me and smiled.  
  
"Jou I have a feeling something is going to happen. Something very bad Jou. Be careful please."  
  
I looked at him a bit confused but nodded all the same.  
  
"I will. You too." I said smiling though still pondering what he could mean.  
  
I never understood why but he was right. A month after I had spoken to Seto was when my mother left. That was the last time I saw him well until he took Shizuka from this world. I am not sure but sometimes when I speak to him about it beyond the anger he may have I can see he is sorry.  
  
I just wish I could go back to those days. The happy carefree days I spent with my sister and my friends. What I am now is just a mask. It hides what I am and how I really feel. Sure Yugi thought I would be depressed when Shizuka passed on but he had no clue how devastated I was.  
  
It was a week after Shizuka passed that I finally left where I had run off to. I had locked myself in up a hotel room to cry away my sorrow. I thought it might help but all it did was grow. I was alive and she wasn't. Some brother I was. I let her die. I could turn to no one. No one could understand my pain.  
  
I was a broken boy at her death. I knew what Seto was then. I vowed to make up for his taking of her innocence. So I joined a society I had heard about. Only rumors but it turned out to be real. What's more they offered to help me with one very large problem of mine. One of the only things keeping me from being free.  
  
My father.  
  
I felt my skin crawl when they said his name. Even today that happens. I hated him with every fiber of my being. He had beaten me, raped me, and taken me from my sister. I could never forgive him for all he had done.  
  
His crimes soon were between only he and God.  
  
I felt as though I had been freed from an eternity of darkness, finally seeing the light. Something I knew was there but just could not reach on my own. How I missed it from my youth. I felt a great weight lifted from me. My back or perhaps my soul.  
  
Though he remains with me haunting me. Even if only in my dreams. I will never truly be rid of him. I can never be the same again. He took so much from me. Everything but my life. At times I wish he had so I could once again see her face. Hear her voice.  
  
Yes I had thought of suicide but when I went to go through with it I could hear her saying to me.  
  
"Please be strong for me big brother."  
  
That would always bring me to tears and back to my depression. Something I had come to know like my own shadow.  
CS: Yay finally I finished. I am having electrical work done on my house so it's kinda hard to work.  
  
Yami CS: Now..which wire was it..eep!!  
  
CS: NO!!! Sorry well I hope to get the next one to you guys sooner. 


	5. Running

CS: This is more reviews than I expected but that's a good thing.  
  
Yami CS: Yes thank you for the reviews.  
  
Seto: Ok enough jabber lets get on with the story.  
  
Yami CS: It's not polite to interrupt someone.  
  
Seto: Like I care.  
  
Yami CS: You will. *holds up a journal *  
  
Seto: Umm..nevermind that. What I meant was the readers would like you to continue.  
  
CS: That sounded much better.  
  
Yami CS: I know hehe..  
  
Seto: *growling standing to the side *  
~Jou Pov~  
  
It was true I cared for Seto like he was my brother at one time. Neither of us cared for many but we would give all we had to the other if they were in need. Though as we got older I will admit the love I held for him grew greatly. I never spoke the words aloud, especially to him.  
  
Then he took Shizuka that spring day. That was the day the sunshine betrayed me. How could the sun shine on that day? How could the birds sing?  
  
I was still asleep but there were no dreams, which I found comforting. I also felt a slight shifting. He was in the room with me, and no less on the bed. Why did he seem to show me such care and tenderness now?  
  
I managed to open my eyes, which were greeted by a pair of cerulean ones that seemed to hold relief and sympathy. I sat up looking at him.  
  
"Why are you in here with me? Tome for another snack?" I spat at him in annoyance.  
  
He sighed and shook his head "No I was concerned you fell asleep so suddenly I was afraid I had taken too much blood from you."  
  
I looked at him hardly believe a word he said. Though I just nodded looking at him coldly. I wondered how I could have loved him.  
  
Seto sighed and ran a hand through his hair.  
  
"I suppose I should tell you why I did what I did." When I looked at him his eyes were hazed and watered.  
  
I nodded "Yes I would like to know why you murdered my sister."  
  
He nodded and closed his eyes before he began to speak.  
  
"I was young and foolish when I did that. I am sorry for the pain I cause you but doing that to her hurt me as well even though you may not think it did. She knew I was different when I saw her again. She knew I was ill so she offered herself to help me. I hadn't yet taken anyone. I was afraid but she smiled and nodded reassuringly to me. She told me she would do anything to help. I didn't want to but I did. I am ashamed of that. Because of that I lost Mokuba."  
  
I was taken aback by his tone and the grief he seemed to show before his brother's name came into play. I did something that startled us both I took his hand lightly. He opened his eyes and looked at me. Then he continued.  
  
"I am so sorry word cannot express the sadness and grief I hold. I loved your sister as though she were my own. I lost you as well someone I had come to love so strongly."  
  
At that point he began to weep. Had I been too hard on him? He had killed Shizuka but he..seemed as miserable as I. I pushed the blankets over me aside moving closer to him. He half paid attention to what I was doing. I sighed and put my arms around him lightly as a comforting gesture he accepted this without hesitation.  
  
If this was all some cruel joke I would cut out his heart and feed it back to him slowly. He seemed so heartfelt and sincere though.  
  
I could feel his chest rising and falling with his now lightened sobs. His head on resting on my shoulder turned toward my neck. He held lightly to me. I was beginning to think I had done him a great wrong. This man wept for all he had done as I had wept. I kept one arm around his shoulders lightly and raised my other hand running it gently though his hair. He made no move to stop me so I continued this.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
I heard him say quietly I could barely make it out.  
  
I just nodded weakly closing my eyes still smoothing his hair to calm him. I felt like I was comforting my dear Shizuka again. Though I knew it was not she my heart felt heavy and burdened. I felt my eyes begin to tear even though they were closed.  
  
Seto had made a point earlier. Without the other we were all alone. I could not kill him and I knew this now. Then I also realized he could not kill me either or he would have most likely already.  
  
"You should get some rest. I interrupted you before now I will not." I said laying him down on the bed. He looked up at me as though pleading with me to stay. I had never seen him like this before. I hesitantly laid down a space between us.  
  
That seemed to be enough for him. It was not long until he fell asleep. I looked at him my hands behind my head as I lay there staring at the ceiling thinking.  
  
In his sleep he soon was curled up against me. I did not push him away. I had not wanted to even if I had I did not have the heart to do that to him.  
  
I began to feel my own eyes grow heavy. As they slowly closed I heard something. That something turned out to be Seto's heart beating. I smiled faintly before letting myself fall into my dreams.  
  
I hoped that no nightmares would find me. The last thing I needed was to wake up weeping. I must seem weak enough to him already.  
  
There was nothing horrible in my dreams.  
  
Just some old memories that would not be all too painful or so from the beginning it seemed so.  
  
~Dream~  
  
I stood on the roof looking out at Domino. I smiled faintly looking at the cape I wore that flapped in the wind. The moon was in the sky. It was a crescent moon. It was not overcast but no clear. I walked along the rooftop. I stopped turning as I heard the ruffle of cloth. I turned to see Seto smiling at me.  
  
I smiled as well relaxing. The years of hunting must have made me jumpy. He walked toward me and put his arms around my waist once he got to me. I smirked and was about to say something when he let go. Seto turned growling carefully making sure I was shielded. I looked a little unnerved by all this.  
  
It took only moments to happen. I heard it the click of the metal. A sword? Or dagger maybe? Then I saw a blur of something dash by us. It all happened so fast. I watched as Seto fell to his knees weakly. My eyes widened in horror.  
  
God no not another one of them gone.  
  
I looked at Seto.  
  
"Seto?" I asked quietly my voice sounding weak and alien to me.  
  
He looked at me and smiled. He was about to fall forward but I caught him tears stinging my eyes threatening to become rivers of my sorrow. I looked at him a long slash down his side and a dagger still buried in his chest.  
  
I felt the tears falling down my face but I made no sound. I pulled out the dagger and wrapped the wounds with part of my cape that I tore off.  
  
In the end it was hopeless. I could not save him I knew I could not. I lifted him up , he felt alarmingly light. I rocked him back in forth in my arms as I cried into his soft hair. He smiled a bit looking up at me.  
  
"Jou.you know I love you and I will for forever and a day."  
  
I was beginning to choke up this could not be the end dear god it could not. Someone save him he's just a fallen angel. His wings need mending.  
  
He slowly went limp in my arms. He had spoken his last to me. I was powerless to save him. Just like Shizuka.  
  
I prayed to god to bring him back to me. I pleaded to the heavens and hell that I would do anything for his return. My pleas were in vain. They went unheard.  
  
I stayed on the roof holding him weeping clinging to his lifeless body.  
  
I had lost them all. I was alone. Now.nothing mattered any longer.  
  
I remember hearing something about loving. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I doubted that highly at the time.  
  
I stayed like that for hours. The police came along with an ambulance crew. They could not tear me away from him.  
  
They all pitied me. I continued to cry more so when they finally took his body away from me. I had lost everything so quickly. Everything. 


	6. Sweet Misery

CS: I know I haven't given you all an update in ages sorry about that.  
  
Yami CS: Yeah anyway hope you think it's going good so far.  
  
Jou: Yeah anyway we should get on with the fic delayed enough already. Ok note that words in [and] are song lyrics. Not our song but Sweet Misery by Michelle Branch.  
~Jou Pov~  
  
I sat up panting. I hadn't known I cried out in my sleep. I should have realized I did. I blinked surprised to see Seto looking at me. Eyes as clear as the ocean filled with concern.  
  
I forced a weak smiled hoping to conceal my shaking from him. I didn't think twice when he opened his arms. I let myself fall onto his chest lightly.  
  
I cried silently. Sobbing was the last thing I needed to do. That dream..I pray it hold no truth in it.  
  
[I was lost and you were found. You seemed to stand on solid ground. I was weak and you were strong. And me and my guitar,we strummed along, oh.]  
  
I felt his heartbeat. It calmed me to know he was alive a dream is but a dream. I shuddered wondering if it would ever come to be. Nothing seemed to be safe or sacred in my world.  
  
I was losing hope in keeping him with me. I was losing all I had before anything was certain. I lost a great deal already. No this time I would not let it happen never.  
  
Seto is mine. I will protect him with all that I am and all that I can.  
  
I looked up at him and smiled faintly. He looked down at me still worried about me. I could tell by his eyes. They could never take my memories of him if they could get him.  
  
"Seto.." I said my voice as weak and quiet as it had been in the dream. My heart ached to tell him. The sorrow of Shizuka was fading. It would never be gone but perhaps dulled.  
  
[Sweet Misery you caused me. Sweet Misery you called me. Sweet Misery you cause me.]  
  
"What is it Jou?" He asked using a tone that showed me more trust and compassion than my mind nor heart could understand. From this source of love and hate.  
  
I smiled. I beside myself by this all. One thing leads to another I suppose. Though planning to kill him then confessing my love to him didn't seem to cross my mind at all before.  
  
[I was blind but oh, you could see. You saw the beauty in everything and me.]  
  
"Seto." I paused my tone showing a side of joy and amusement I had long forgotten " I love you."  
  
His cerulean eyes widened in shock. He stared down at me in disbelief of my statement. Had I been him I'm sure I would have thought the same thing. I mean hey I vowed to his face to kill him oh.hmm..less than twenty-four hours ago.  
  
His mouth was slight agape but it close and curved into a smile.  
  
"Jou.."  
  
I nodded "Yeah?"  
  
MY heart skipped a beat. I took in a deep breath waiting. Now or never I suppose. I felt my heart in my throat as though it might leave me should he not answer.  
  
[I would cry and you would smile. You'd stay with me a little while.]  
  
"Jou..I..I.."  
  
My heart sank to my stomach as thoughts rushed through my mind. The hope in me was dimming now. An answer. I needed an answer!  
  
[Sweet Misery you caused me. Sweet Misery you called me. Sweet Misery you cause me.]  
  
Please I'm begging you Seto answer me.  
  
I would never say those words aloud but I would pray he knew I wanted and answer as badly as I indeed did. I looked down at the silence knowing what it meant.  
  
I closed my eyes feeling them burn. I confessed to him but what had I really expected?  
  
"Jou.." he said again in a tone that seemed to hold love in my ears. Maybe I imagined all these sings of love and affection.  
  
[And in my heart I see oh, what you're doing to me. And in my heart I see oh, just how you wanted it to be. Sweet Misery. Oh whoa.]  
  
My head was hanging in shame and sadness. I felt him lift up my head by the chin gently. He looked at me as I opened my eyes. He smiled and kissed my forehead lightly pulling back whispering to me. "I love you too."  
  
I looked at him stunned utterly stunned.  
  
[Sweet Misery that's what you caused me. Sweet Misery that's what you called me. Sweet Misery is what you cause me.]  
  
I looked at him the words meaning and sincerity finally clicking in my mind. I slowly began to smile. He looked at me again and I blinked looking at him. I had half forgotten this was no dream. This was real.  
  
I hugged him closing my eyes that now burned with joy. The sadness within them gone for the time. Love something I had not come to know that well. I was being given a gift. Something I had never truly been given before by any other nor would I accept from any other.  
  
He hugged me back tightly and I hoped he'd never let go. If he did he would be trying to get me to let go.  
  
[And in my heart I see oh, what you're doing to me. And in my heart I see oh, just how you wanted it to be. Sweet Misery.]  
  
I could hear in my mind the pain of my memories giving way to my newfound joy and happiness. No it was more the joy and happiness I rediscovered.  
  
Reminds me of an old saying. Let them go if you love them and if they come back it shows that they love you. Maybe this is true. I left him and he did let me go. I came back to him. In a way I think I , my true self, never really left him. The carefree happy go lucky me stayed with him.  
  
[I was weak and you were strong. Me and my guitar we strummed along.] 


	7. Malchik Gay

Cs: Sorry this took me forever.  
  
Jou: Yes there are a few others that feel the same way.  
  
Seto: Right.  
  
Cs: Anyways on with the story. Sorry it took forever again. Gomen minna- san.  
~Jou Pov~  
  
I had longed for this for so long and prayed that one day we might be just friends once more. Shizuka did I fail you?  
  
No I haven't I think in a way I did what was destined to happen all along. Thank Kami that I accept it now.  
  
I smiled and got up smiling looking over at Seto who seemed confused.  
  
"As much as I know you don't like it. I am going to get up and make myself decent."  
  
He blinked looking at me though my hair was disheveled and my clothes there came the reply I was waiting for.  
  
"You look perfectly fine." I snickered at this and point to him.  
  
"Like you should talk koi."  
  
Seto stood up and gave me a mock glare before walking out of the room faintly blushing.  
  
I was laughing pretty hard walking into the bathroom attached to the room. Never had I seen him blush at this age. I hadn't laughed like this in years actually.  
  
I looked around the bathroom thinking. There was a large bath or I suppose a cross between a bath and whirlpool with a second glance. The floor is a beautiful white marble with a pattern of lines weaving many shapes and interesting pictures. I could spend hours finding all sorts of hidden shapes and objects in a weave of lines and while.  
  
There was a double sink with not to my surprise blue towels. He loved blue obviously. I wonder why he would.  
  
I just smirk at my thought.  
  
Much as I want to pretend I can't hid from myself that that dream had truth to it. I shudder a bit listening to my sobs in the dream echo through my mind.  
  
"Kami-sama."  
  
I muttered before looking toward the separate shower and turn the water on making it a tolerable temperature. I took a towel and looked back to the door. It was closed.  
  
"I don't remember closing it..oh well must just have forgotten."  
  
I think nothing of it and strip down getting into the shower the temperature change evident to my skin. I slid the shower door closed and put my head under the water letting my hair become saturated pushing it out of my eyes. Since it's wet it stays out of my eyes.  
  
I rub my eyes for a moment feeling a bit tired. I shook my head after and splashed my face with water. It helped me a bit then I looked around grabbing soap and lathered up my hands thinking as I did so.  
  
I stop and turn getting an eerie feeling of being watched. I shrug it off and proceed with my shower trying to ignore this feeling that is nagging at the back of my mind.  
  
I rinse off again then I start to wash my hair thinking now sure something or someone was watching me. I growl lowly rising my hair.  
  
"It's just my imagination.." I muttered trying to completely ignore it now. It's no big deal anyway if it is anyone probably Seto trying to scare me.  
  
I rolled my eyes at that I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of scaring me. At least not with this..so childish.  
  
I jump hearing something hit the floor.  
  
Maybe I am more unnerved than I admitted before.  
  
I pushed the door aside to look to see if anyone was in there. I poked my head out nothing and no one. Looked like something had just fallen over due to gravity finally winning the war of balance.  
  
I pulled my head back into the shower closing the door rising my hair again looking up at the ceiling.  
  
Even though I'm finished I don't want to get out it's nice and warm though I'm freaked out. I am too paranoid.  
  
I laughed a bit at that. Yes I really was.  
  
I turned the hot water up a bit just to stay there and enjoy the warmth.I jumped two feet hearing a ringing.  
  
I pulled the door back to look out and saw a cell phone now on the sink. I blinked stepping out grabbing the towel putting it around my waist. I walked over picking it up to find it real which caused dread to run through my being. I answered it even though all of my being cried out for me to do nothing but crush it.  
  
"Hello?..."  
  
My voice sounded a false sureness and a meager strength.  
  
There was no answer but I could hear breathing..or panting was more what it sounded like.  
  
"What do you want? Stop waiting my time.."  
  
I was angry but afraid so my voice was betraying me. I tried pressing to show only my anger.  
  
Still no answer but I could hear footsteps through the phone.  
  
They were toying with me my fear fading being replaced with rage.  
  
"Look am I getting pissed what the hell do you want?!"  
  
There was a small laughed in a dark tone then a muttered plea. I could not make out the words nor the meaning of the tone. Whoever it was they were begging that was all I could tell.  
  
"I.."  
  
Before I could say another word they spoke.  
  
"Katsuya..you cannot run. We will find you and that little friend of yours."  
  
I felt my body start to shake and my face pale shades lighter. That voice cold and emotionless. They were alive..or I think they might have been. The voice was familiar in an odd eerie manner. I froze hair standing on end all over my body. I could hear my own heart skip a beat speeding up.  
  
"Promises are promises.none turn their back to us..none Kasuya."  
  
My eyes widened in horror as I knew something was coming. Something horrible and evil in all its strength and wickedness.  
  
My the gods help me and protect Seto. I don't know if I alone can this time. Then again maybe I need to be protected now.  
CS: Tada..well sorry it took me so long.  
  
Jou: You make me look like a sissy.  
  
Seto: That's where I come in koi.  
  
Jou: Whatever.. 


	8. When I'm Gone

Cs: Eep! Huge tests! Too many!!! English teacher must die..  
  
Yami CS: Hehe finally.  
  
Jou: And they think I'm the crazy one  
~Jou Pov~  
  
I knew what I had to do. It would have come to this anyways. I would be forced to choose one of two things. Now I suppose was the time to decide. I grabbed a towel wrapping it around my waist tightly drying my hair with another after crushing that infernal piece of plastic.  
  
I walked swiftly out of the bathroom ignoring everything other then the will within my heart and my mind.  
  
I dressed pulling on my black turtleneck black slacks and black jacket. I put on socks hurriedly and shoes. Then I went through my belongings, which Seto had brought here, being the sort of man he was. I found my dagger. I put it inside my jacket and took a short sword with me putting it also inside my jacket.  
  
Hands in my pockets I walked from the room and downstairs walking through the maze of a home. I found my way to the main entrance and walked out that way. I kept on walking from the mansion no intent of returning.  
  
I glanced back over my shoulder at it thinking it was far too large and I would have preferred a simple life.  
  
So with a heavy heart and a guilt that made my stomach turn I walked out the gates and into the city once more. My past meant nothing, the peasant means nothing and my future is determined already.  
  
With a sigh I went through the fog toward the heart of downtown Domino. I heard the footsteps behind me. I knew the unsaid taunts and insults. Still I was silent hearing nothing much over the nagging of my conscience.  
  
I had to leave it all behind. To think I choose my destiny before but it wasn't as I had thought it would be. I was not slaying the one I had hated so greatly after loving so truly. Life is really horrible. Maybe in death I will be able to rest in peace and rejoin my loved ones for eternity. I would wait for them.  
  
I have no soul I sold it long ago to fight the devil herself. Now it was time for that day. I wanted this since I returned to Seto this was revenge for my sister, Seto, Mokuba, and myself. I would not lose to her or any other.  
  
I looked around the rooftop there she stood back to me air of death around her. I didn't wait a moment longer then to charge at her no weapon drawn. She evaded my attack but not the dagger I had hidden for my return attack. I heard an angry hiss and I could smell the blood.  
  
I turned around only to be grabbed by the neck. I growled as she lifted me off the ground.  
  
Now the final battle had begun and one would survive. I hoped it would be me.  
  
I looked at her the dubbed queen of them, those blood sucking creatures of beauty. She was Mai. Blonde hair and amethyst eyes aged with wisdom though she looked no older then twenty-two. I knew better then that. I sliced up along her arm watching the blood drip from her near porcelain skin. She looked more like a doll then a living creature or rather dead creature.  
  
She let go of my throat leaving me to regain my breath. She tended to her arm. She'd under estimated me and I her. I was preoccupied as she lunged for me but I managed to lean far enough to the left to evade her waiting hand to once more squeeze the breath from my throat. I plunged the dagger into her chest twisting it. I felt the blood on my hands. It was cold and reeked of death as she did.  
  
I smirked pulling it out feeling a blade penetrate my shoulder. I growled jumping back as quickly as I could. I heard the howl of the other creatures near by cheering.  
  
My eyes narrowed feeling her running about me faster then my eyes could recognize. I growled feeling a cut on my cheek then something wiping at the blood quickly. I closed my eyes drawing the short sword I had hidden and waited a moment.  
  
She lunged at me from the left and I ducked down enough on one knee rising upward sword going through her throat quickly in a fluent motion.  
  
She looked at me in a mix of horror and amazement. I smiled weakly pulling to the side cutting her throat watching her fall afterward.  
  
"That was for Mokuba."  
  
I slashed her left arm.  
  
"For Shizuka."  
  
I cut her cheek deeply watching the crimson liquid flow out of her.  
  
"For Seto." I said cutting her head clear off now.  
  
"And for myself."  
  
I had killed her easily as the elders of the brotherhood told me I would now all of her offspring would avenge her and my life was the cost of that revenge.  
  
Quickly I turned to cut one in half thinking I should have brought a full sword with me make it easier. I could only dispose of so many.  
  
I was right about the so many thing. I could only kill five at a time with the short sword. I was used to being able to kill at least a dozen as quickly and easily.  
  
This went on for at least half an hour. I had my humanly limits and was beginning to tire.  
  
Soon I would face defeat but not after a much greater victory, and revenge.  
  
Though in me there was something that regretted this all. My life, and possibly my soon death. I regretted never letting myself enjoy my life and never doing as I wanted. To live normally. It was too late now.  
  
I fell to one knee being knocked there by one of those fiends.  
  
This is it.  
  
I felt a blade go through my back and out of my stomach. My eyes widened as I felt another from the front go through my chest aimed directly at my heart.  
  
I could feel the blood and life draining from me quickly.  
  
"Goodbye..Seto.." I said weakly a smile playing on my face.  
  
It was time for me to pass on as Shizuka had and Seto wouldn't. I may never see him again until this world is gone and perhaps many others. I pray he's happy and lives as he wanted.  
  
The short sword hit the roof with a quiet clatter. I heard them hundreds of them on the roof and others near by crying with joy that their queen was avenged. I the slayer so fear was dead and soon the rest of the brotherhood would follow since I was the best they had.  
  
I felt my eyes slide closed and the sword pulled from my body. I fell back against the roof in the pool of my blood. My hair was now a some shade of red I'm sure my eyes clouded even though the lids were closed. I could hear my breathing stop and my heart slow.  
  
My last thoughts were not of anger or hatred but the love I had for them all. These creatures that sent me to my beloved sister and the one I leave behind that will hold my heart for all time and eternity.  
  
Forever and a day will I love him. Love is not enough to say so. Adore. No, cherish, no. No words are for this. Few will understand what it is like to feel like this.  
  
My life was not completely a curse there was a true blessing in my life. My sister and my love, Seto.  
  
In the end he knew me better then I knew myself. I knew because he was the one who now weep holding my limp and near dead body.  
  
He pleaded and I refused him as he did to me so long ago. My heart broke to hear him cry so but my heart also felt great joy to know he was safe from harm that they could do him.  
  
I will never leave him and he knows that. We are bound through all there is to be and all there was. Even when hate was there love was hidden. Now the love still lives.  
  
Life wasn't too bad. Death isn't so sad. Depends on the end and the beginning. To the dreamer it's all the same. For those who live the lives we all want I say live you life like it was forever. Don't lose your love and hold on to the dreams you still have. In this crazy world that knows limits. There so much sadness and far too much madness. Keep in your hear the truth and evade the lies that come your way. Love many times and never forget them. Remember the heart breaks and be strong through them. You have nothing to be ashamed of in the climax of your life other then the idea that you had not lived it. I didn't so I know.  
  
Live for the day and hold it in your grasp while you can. There will always be a tomorrow and there will always be a yesterday.  
  
You are not alone. Never.  
CS: Hmm..well what'd you think. I don't know if that's the end and there'll be a sequel or if I should keep going.  
  
Yami CS: Give some feedback and let us know.  
  
Jou: Joy I died..figures.  
  
Seto: No that can't be the end. You took Jou from me. 


	9. BitterSweet Symphony

CS: This is the epilogue thanks for all the reviews everybody. Yes there will be a sequel. I do want to live.  
  
Seto: Oh well thought we'd get rid of her.  
  
~Seto Pov~  
  
Never did I think it would end like this. I hoped, the niave hope, that I might live in peace with Jou. If I could change anything it would be to have gone with him as I saw him walk off. I should have known he had a motive when he did not stop or pause at the gate.  
  
I wonder now only why he would do that. Why die? For me? I hope not and wish against it all it wasn't. I know it was though. I know he lost his life to keep me here. Mai..that demon took him from this world.  
  
I wish I had never turned to her for help. If I hadn't my sweet innocent Jou would still be here. No, wishing this all to be was too late. Nothing can change the past. With all the will and love I may have I cannot save anyone. I will not damn another.  
  
That is why I never tried to save Jou. I did not bind him to this world as I am since if I had I know that he would regret it as I would. I couldn't keep him here. He deserved to be set free. I couldn't keep him from his sister's spirit that I took from her body.  
  
I am a monster. I was the minute I was born. I had no innocence. The quality I loved in that blonde puppy so greatly. I was a sinner at the start and I will always be one. I am damned, I was so before I ever was bitten.  
  
I was never one to be deeply religious or one of great faith. The only faith that would not be broken was that I held within Jou. I loved him completely as I always will. There is something constant, my love and trust in that boy. I pray I do see him again if only for a moment. To see those eyes again. That held dreams though he never spoke them, love that was toward me, and a hope to the future so rarely seen these days. A soul like his is rare, a heart as his rarest.  
  
Never will I meet another like him or love another as I loved him. He is a part of me for all today, tomorrow, and beyond the frame of time itself. To love like that is something I never imagined. To have it returned was a bliss greater then that of heave and I will profess this a thousand times.  
  
Be true to those you love and the dreams they have. Never forget your past no matter the pain it may cause you. You choose the path you take. You guide your own destiny.  
  
Do not fall to those in your way but rise to their challenge. Excel when others mock you, live when others tell you otherwise. Succeed when it's hopeless. Hope is not lost until hope is gone from all. To stop trying is to give up. To succeed is to learn of yourself and others.  
  
Honor your choices and life it is only yours. Do not let others live it for you.  
  
With great power there is responsibility that may be unbearable though it is not if you do not yield to it. 


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